You goin' to your Volunteer thing?

I knew I was in love when my friend referred to my job at Catholic Charities as just a measly “volunteer thing” and I took major offense to it. For me volunteering at Catholic Charities was more than just a volunteer thing, it was actually my first real experience in the real world working for a busy company that helped the less fortunate with an education for their children and programs for advancement in their lives. Some people believe that volunteering and working for free is beneath them, but in this economy it seems as if those are the only options out there for a recent graduate who has yet to get their foot through the door. After only three weeks of being at Catholic Charities I was told that if I wanted a job at one of their sites, it was mine. This was just the boost I needed to get me out of the funk that there were no jobs and I would be poor for the next year or so. It gave me confidence in knowing that I was a darn good worker and it did not go unnoticed at this company. I began looking at my position at Catholic Charities not only as a volunteer thing but a semi-job(as I like to call it). I was helping this company succeed, whether it was answering phones, faxing important papers, making copies, or entering data on excel, I began to feel wanted and needed and took away valuable skills that are so necessary for my future career goals. When I did an event with Cocktails and Couture during Fashion Week I was lucky enough to meet girls that were in my exact dilemma, graduates from college, yet working for free at an internship or flat out unemployed. The difference between them and me was that they had rent to pay and I was still living rent-free. It felt good to know that I was not alone in this journey. Meeting these girls really changed my life. However it also motivated me towards the direction of figuring out my goals, my life and how I would get everything I wanted out of life before I got too old and wondered Where did my life go?

Volunteering for me started out as a ploy to avoid having any spaces in my resume when I applied to law school. It then progressed to getting a recommendation from the company but now I look at it as something that was life changing. I met two of the most generous, kindhearted individuals, who wanted nothing more than to see me succeed. I developed contacts, and learned skills that no amount of time in the classroom or reading textbooks could give me. I learned exactly what it means to be in the real world; and now I am on to my next venture, learning exactly what it means to be in the real world and get paid for it. 

The Curse of Class of 2009 and Beyond

Working at my semi job has lead me to indulge in the typical bored at the office activities including, googling random things, msn.com, goosip sites, blog sites along with many other distractions to get me through the day. But I must say I am so intrigued by the plight of the recent graduate as a recent graduate myself I dont feel like I was ever prepared for this life. Seems like i'm not the only one feeling this way...I found the following article on the WallStreet journal website about recent graduates having to endure salary cuts and not ending up in the field they majored in because of the poor economy.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124181970915002009.html

Top 10 best Cities for Recent College Graduates

As a recent graduate moving to another city, before settling down is on the minds of many of us. A majority of the recent graduates that I know would rather struggle pay check to pay check then return home to their beloved parents. However the reality of the situation is simple, a lot of the glamorous cities we set our sights on are hella expensive. I always imagined moving to Washington, DC after I graduated however I know now those expectations are unrealisitc because the price of living out there and in the surrounding areas are over what I can afford at this point in my life. Nevertheless, in collaboration with careerbuilder.com and apartments.com I found an article on msn.com(ie.my new favorite home page) which list some of the most cheapest and realistic cities to live in as a recent graduate. A little food for thought...

Top 10 best cities for recent college graduates, plus average rent for a one bedroom apartment

1. Hartford-New Haven ($1,047)

2. Cleveland ($695)

3. Boston ($1,625)

4. Denver ($994)

5. Minneapolis ($941)

6. San Francisco ($1,560)

7. Washington D.C. ($1,679)

8. Philadelphia ($1,068)

9. Atlanta ($813)

10. St. Louis ($826)

What do you think about this list? Would you move to one of these cities for a job?

If you know me you know how much I love Chanel Iman...from Day 1

I remember when my mother gave me endless subscriptions to Teen Vogue as a gift when I was 14 years old(until 18). Lets just say that's around the time I became caught up with all things fashion for my age, but I couldn't help but notice and fall in love with Chanel Iman while she was still a question mark in the modeling industry. Before Gucci and Christian Dior knew her name, Marc Jacobs and Teen Vogue were giving her a shot....and myself, I was just overjoyed that finally there was a brown face on the pages of Teen Vogue who was young, fresh faced and not Tyra or Naomi Campbell. Most recently she has launched a website that is all things Chanel Iman, from childhood photos to a portfolio of all the innovative photo shoots she has done throughout her career, including posing as Minnie Mouse to hanging out on a tree with an elephant. The website is amazing. Everything you would ever want and need to know about her is on this site. I love it!!!!!!

www.chaneliman.com

Oscar De La Renta (sp.2012)

Donna Karen Spring 2012...Ah-MAY-ZING

Safari Inspired Michael Kors! Me Likey!

Peter Som (SP2012)

I could hardly wait...Christian Siriano Fashion Week SP2012

Fashion DO!

When I went to Nordstrom's in Virginia this weekend all I saw were these shoes and I was in love...gave me more of an incentive to buy them ASAP!

2011 VMAs-Beyonce Steals the Show!

MTV could have brought out Lions&Tigers&Bears (Oh My) last night at the awards, but nothing would have been more exciting than the surprising news that Mrs. Beyonce Knowles is PREGNANT! Jayz and Beyonce are inspirations to all. It's refreshing to finally see a couple who has been together for years, are both independently successful, and finally starting a family after being married for a couple of years. I always admired the way Beyonce and JayZ operated, they didn't conform to the traditional Get married and a year later have a child, what they did was enjoy the marriage life, they enjoyed each others company, they vacationed together, they built a strong bond within the marriage and now while the time is right they are bringing a whole new life into this world. I am soOo OVERJOYED! Beyonce has been my girl ever since my step sister came to visit from California and put me on to the Writings on the Wall cd, (Although i've been an advert fan since No No No No) and I totally feel as if my older sister is finally having her first child. I feel inspired to do it the way she does, she is really setting the right example for us all, first the career, then the marriage THEN the Baby Carriage.
Maybe this generation will have more Bridal Showers than Baby Showers after all.

DID You Know...

Did you know that you can buy Essie Nail Polish online for less that $2. I'm sure shipping and handling is included but thats nothing when drug stores are charging you 9 dollas +tax for nail polish...Good Ol' Amazon.com

My reality check of a day and "The Help"

Last week Friday was a Reality Check...for one it was the last day of work for a summer youth employee(at my charity semi-job) who I grew to love and appreciate. In remembrance of his departure and the wonderful work he performed, the office decided to throw him a pizza party. The party was delightful. We enjoyed Pizza and Salad while all attention was on Isaiah. One of the questions the heads of the department asked him was what he was going to do with his life and/or future and he responded "I want to go to Penn State like Kydee...to study medicine." I was honored and so happy that my conversations with him could lead him to such a decision but I didn't expect the attention to be turned to me. Next thing I knew a swarm of questions were being asked all at once..."So you went to Penn State" " When did you graduate?" "What was your major" "What are you going to do with the rest of your life" When I answered the questions with confidence (being so used to this type of interrogation process by now) exclaiming that I planned on going to law school and am currently filling out applications during this break from school, I was approached by the big dog. A beautiful brown face just like mine with shaven gray hair and an ostentatious air about her, who was the second in charge in the department. She went on to say "Which school are you trying to get into" My response was "Right now I don't know but I am reaching for Georgetown in D.C" the following is pretty  much the dialogue from that point on:
Her: Oh wow Georgetown is a pretty hard school to get into, very competitive, what was your GPA
Me: (face blushes from embarrassment of the boldness of that question and I embellish my gpa of course, just to round it hehe) 3.4
Her: You do know they start from 4.0
Me: Ummm
Her: you better have a hell of an application and a lot of other things going for you because that school is competitive and a lot of people apply with higher gpas 
Me: UMMM...if I was to have that mentality i would remain stagnant and stuck and afraid to apply for anything...all law schools are competitive so ummm...
Her: well can you at least write
ME: Im a great writer...but I know I can get into this school despite what you think
Her: ok whatever you say
Pretty much after that you could cut the tension in the room with a knife. I was shocked and stunned that this woman had the audacity to call me out in front of a room full of people to tell me I couldn't follow my dreams and go off to a school that I really wanted to go to because of my GPA. Who did she think she was? To make matters worst this woman, a black woman just like me chose to knock me down as opposed to encouraging me and offering her help or blessings. She's older so I know she been through a lot and she knows how it is to be a black woman in society yet she chose the route to hate on a younger black female than to encourage her. I was disgusted. Clem (my semi-boss) called me into his office because he was disgusted as well. He noticed how droopy my cheeks were (my face reveals all my feelings) and told me "Kydee you have to understand that you are a threat! Your young, gorgeous, fresh faced and smarter than i don't know what...you have the whole world at your fingertips don't get discouraged" I revealed my anger to him and as a black man he completely understood; we went on to discuss the state of the African American race and why we don't just support each other but constantly feel the need to compete against each other like animals. After I left the office, I went to meet my mom and brother so we could see "The Help"
The Help was heaven sent. It not only exposed the state of the African American community in the Jim Crow South, but the sisterhood and bond between our community that was necessary in order to survive such hardship. Watching that movie I felt the pain of our race during that time, the degradation and the treatment as second class citizens or even worst animals was really hard to watch. However the beauty of the movie was the sisterhood between Aibileen and Minny who had a laugh to prevent from crying mentality that so many blacks also had to cope with their situation. I loved the support that they gave to one another and after watching this film, my faith was restored. Instead of being mad at this woman who tried to shoot my dreams down, I decided I would just pray for her because the unhappiness she has within herself could have easily been passed on to me but I won't allow it. I used her negativity from that day to make a promise to myself that i would never get stuck in a job or a situation that I am so unhappy with that I couldn't possibly be happy for someone else. I'm sure I am going to have to deal with worst people than her in this world that we live in. Reality Check: I am officially in the real world.

Fall Style Alert: Ankle Strap Pumps

Snake Skin...My Fave of all Faves

Im Happy that Snake Skin is out for the Fall!!!! I still have shopper remorse from two years ago while I was in Zaras I seen the most beautiful Snake Skin strappy pumps ever! They were funky to say the least...any way I left them, told myself I would never wear them and have been thinking about them ever since...Ill never make that mistake again. 

Summer is over but...where was I when these came out???

The Oxford Shoe

Not really into these types of shoes but these particular Oxford Flat shoes in Bronze are really adorable

If I want to know the trends, I go to....

Viva au Natural REVOLUTION!

I am almost positive that when “The Little Rock Nine” became the first students to integrate a segregated high school in Arkansas, they didn’t know they would shape history and the future of the civil rights movement. Neither did four college students who sat at a Woolworth lunch counter in Greensborough, North Carolina believe that their act of civil disobedience would make a huge contribution to the generations after them who can now eat peacefully at a restaurant despite the dark hue of their skin. Although the decision to go natural may seem like a personal one for many, I believe that a revolution has begun.

In a world where men glorify women with fair skin and long straight hair and women so deep in their insecurity that they respond to these unattainable beauty standards with long blonde weaves, blue colored contacts and bleached skin, its almost like a breath of fresh air when I see a woman walking up and down the streets looking like a young Angela Davis or Pam Grier in “Foxy Brown.” Now don’t get me wrong, I love weaves and I appreciate them with all my heart but the natural hair community of beautiful brown sistahs are taking a stand. A revolution of some sorts where naturals are not conforming to the standards of beauty predisposed to them when it comes to their hair. As a black girl, our views on hair are pretty much all the same: we yearn for straight and long hair (with the exception of a few girls of course). Yet we are all born with beautiful kinky/curly hair. After watching television, movies and flipping through the pages of magazines we see white women having the luxury of straight hair. Even going to school and admiring the brown-faced girl with the long permed hair, we become dissatisfied with our own kinks and desperately yearn for straight.

I remember being in first grade when this desire for straight hair hit me. I begged my mother for a perm because of this one girl in my class got her first perm and came back to school with hair that was so long and beautiful. I figured if her hair could grow down to her back over the span of a weekend then I wanted a perm so mines could too. Of course my mom said “NO” but she definitely said “Yes” to pressing my hair which meant countless Saturday mornings in the kitchen as she straightened my kinks and burned my ear to pieces, a routine that almost all African American girls can relate to. After a while our mothers get tired and give in. Perms become the answer but for some women the wrong answer.

Fast-forward to 2009, when “Good Hair,” a Chris Rock documentary made its debut. I guess I’m going to be frank when I say Good Hair is a film that I absolutely hate. The title automatically fragments our race by who has what society deems good hair and who doesn’t. I don’t know where my detest for this documentary comes from because I typically love documentaries but there’s a possibility that I hate it because I watched this film in a African American studies class in which the class make-up was predominately white (more on the ironies of Penn State classes later). The Caucasian majority couldn’t and would never understand the struggles of exactly what it meant to be an African American and to be a female. They also didn’t understand the pressures that black women face that would lead them to sew a weave or to perm their natural texture. Most of all I hated Chris Rock who happen to be a brother, our brother for exposing black women dirty little secret consisting of the extra mile we must go through to be seen as beautiful in the eyes of society. Still, what I do respect from this film is that after its premiere, a number of women decided to embrace their natural roots.

I personally never understood the choice to go natural until recently. I used to look at India Arie, Jill Scott and Erykah Badu with respect but in the same token like foreign aliens because shaving your hair bald or wearing a afro was so subversive and not the norm. Now as I am older, wiser and more enlightened, I know that these ladies were brave women. They were brave enough to embrace who they were despite the judgment they may have faced from the world. They were brave enough to see their natural beauty on the inside before the outside, in a world where skin color and “good hair”are elements of acceptance in society.

We may not know it now but the Natural Hair revolution is in full force. More and more black women are on the streets rocking fro hawks, afros, and twist-outs. Black women are shedding their weaves and their perms and telling the world “IDGAF ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK OF ME BECAUSE I KNOW I AM BEAUTIFUL.” They are shedding the stereotype of black hair being unable to grow and showing us all that natural hair can be long and healthy without the perm. Naturals are walking into corporate America with their braid-outs, while other naturals in their TWA phase are standing tall, with their bright make up and huge earrings demanding their own beauty to be seen. The Afro in the 70s was a fad; it came and it went but for some reason I think black women today are starting their own movement. We are tired of having to meet Eurocentric standards of beauty. We are tired of being told we are not pretty enough or our hair isn’t good enough; we are tired of succumbing to the creamy crack or endless hours in the salon chair as we hide our own hair to sew in someone else’s. We want healthy hair and we want it NOW! Thus a revolution has commenced and this time it will last longer than a decade.

VIVA Au Natural Revolution!

The Baby Mama

This is going to be short because I don’t want to indulge too much of an opinion on this issue but the misconceptions I hear about "Baby Mamas" tend to be insanely false.I must say that unlike many I sympathize with the Baby Mama…I repeat…I sympathize with the baby mama for the following reasons:

(1)  Baby Mama—The title

I absolutely abhor the name “Baby Mama” because of the negative connotation that comes with this title. However there is nothing wrong with a woman who choose to have a child and not dispose of a life or give that life up for adoption. Although I am pro-choice and I am not being judgmental by no means, society is way too hard on the babymama’s selflessness; she knows that the road may be tough and that she may struggle but a potential life is worth more than a little hardship. When you think of a baby mother you immediately think of a neck rolling, money hungry sapphire but that is not the case. There are a lot of decent women out there who happen to be someone’s baby mother but still holds her own in the realm of a career or financial independence. What a lot of woman need to understand is that being a baby mama does not define who you are as a mother and a person; its just a distasteful title that should not be tolerated.

(2)  A baby mama’s intention are to bind themselves to a man is not necessarily true

For some women loving a man can make you do some crazy things. While men are thinking in the “right now,” women are thinking forever which can falsely lead a woman to believe she can keep a man by bringing a child into this world which is completely and utterly wrong. With those intentions a rude awakening is bound to come, but this thought process does not encompass all baby mamas. Some women want nothing to do with their baby fathers. Other women just want their baby father’s to spend time with their child. All in all, not all baby mamas have the intention to trap their men.

(3)  Unconditional Love

The first time I fell in love I experienced a love that was totally different from the love that I felt for my family. The first time I become a mother I am positive that the love will be on another level as well. However there are many women out there who have never experienced real love from a father, mother or even a boyfriend and they believe that motherhood could fill that void. I personally believe if unconditional love is a women’s reason for having a child then that’s her prerogative. It’s her body and her life and a search for love does not make her a bad person or a fool.

I’m sick of the judgments that come along with being a “baby mama.” Not all baby mamas are going to suffer and live horrible lives on welfare. A lot of these women that we degrade with the title of baby mama are our very own independent mothers who made sacrifices without the help of a man so their children could thrive. The same women we degrade as baby mothers are getting their degrees, working full time jobs and maintaining households in spite of their responsibilities. Ultimately I would love to be a part of a generation that is having more bridal showers than baby showers. However the perfect nuclear family is unfortunately not the fate for everyone and being a baby mama is not a death sentence. It’s a chance to be a mother and role model to a child that will seek protection, support and nurture from you and that’s a beautiful thing.