Color Conscious in Corporate America?

Black people are forced to be color conscious because it's our color that dictates the way we are treated in society, the privileges allotted to us and the discrimination we may face. Something as simple as walking into a high end boutique can be an issue of race if the manager follows us around the store or refuses to assist us as we look around. This preoccupation with color is gradually becoming prevalent in Corporate America as well. There is a belief, maybe even a myth that lighter skinned blacks get ahead while darker skinned blacks are told to get back. It’s a marvel that more blacks are holding high positions as CEO’s and managers of major companies however according to “Corporate Colorism” by Peter Behr once "inside" some blacks are making little progress towards moving into higher positions. Edward W. Jones Jr. was interviewed for the article and had very strong points as to what constitutes the success of blacks in Corporate America. He states“It means being smart but not too smart, being strong but not too strong. Being confident but not egoistical to the point of alienation. Being the butt of prejudice and not being unpleasant or abrasive…speaking out on issues affecting blacks but not being perceived as a self-appointed missionary…”(Behr 3). In order to succeed in Corporate America we must assimilate and conform to the corporate ideal. Jones’s believes that lighter skinned blacks have an advantage and that in order to combat colorism we have to confront it. When we speak of powerful figures, specifically men in the African American community, it is fair to acknowledge that historically many African American leaders happen to be lighter skinned. MalcomX, Martin Luther King, W.E.B Dubois, Booker T. Washington and most recently President Obama are of lighter skinned supporting the idea that lighter skinned African Americans rise on the social ladder. Is this just a coincidence? Or is skin color really an issue. I sincerely hope that this is just a coincidence.

Neutral Shoes for Spring

You can find these and more at aldoshoes.com

Do You Shift?

I am currently reading Shifting: The Double Lives of Black Women in America and I am truly inspired. As a black women in America, there is pressure to be a certain way and to dispel the many myths against us. The first page of the book is intensely deep, it states the following:
"Black women in America have learned to find humor in heartache, to see beauty in the midst of desperation and horror. They have been both caregivers and breadwinners, showing incredible strength and resilience, unflinching loyalty, boundless love and affection. They have risen above centuries of oppression so that, today, after years of dealing with society's racist and sexist misconceptions, with its brutal hostilities and unthinkable mistreatment, not only are they supporting families, they're leading corporations, major media organization, the military, our state and federal governments...."
Black women hold the world on their shoulders. They take on the extra load from their men at home, their children, their professors, their families, their bosses and essentially society. They keep on fighting for what they believe in without the hope of eventually attaining a prize. Black women often have to shift to be accepted into society. Shifting includes getting hair extensions as opposed to wearing your natural kinky hair or talking proper as opposed to talking ebonics. Shifting even includes trying to balance between being a woman and being black.
One day in class, we had a discussion about Shifting...we all agreed that as black women we all have to Shift. Sometimes we shift to fit in with white people and sometimes it's to fit in with our own people. One of the girls in my class said she feels pressure after moving to Central Pennsylvania, to fit in with her family that still lived in the inner city.
Nonetheless Shifting is something that every race and every class does, especially for situational purposes. Although I haven't finished with this book I look forward to the interesting facts it has to illustrate.

Will Sisterhood Ever Exist?

Girls have the capacity to relate to each other on many levels, ranging from nail polish and the color pink to liking boys or playing soccer. However despite these commonalities we still see females taking the catty route and talking about one another behind each other's back. Take the movie "Mean Girls" for example. The theme of the whole movie was based on the harsh comments written in a burn book by the supposed "Mean Girls" of the school. Cattiness, jealously and competition was the driving force of this film. If this stereotype is right and women are actually catty with one another naturally, then I am compelled to ask the question...will sisterhood ever exist?
If there is no sisterhood among women then how is it possible that we have a successful and long-lasting feminist movement? The idea of feminism is an amazing construct. Women coming together on a universal level to combat the issues that oppress them. Although the feminist movement is a very powerful force, as the years progressed the adversary became ambiguous. Do feminist have a bone to pick with men or do they have a bone to pick with themselves? There is no common consensus among feminist because of the various differences among women. Racism, Classism and Sexism are just a few of the barriers that fragment the feminist movement. It is a mistake to think of feminism as a single doctrine for all females. Women come in all shapes and sizes: Black, White, Indian, Asian and what makes them even more unique is that every woman has a different story. Feminist make the claim that women are oppressed but the types of oppression faced, varies on an individual basis. The patriarchal oppression faced by a white women, is in no way the same oppression faced by a black women. Feminist differ on what could count as justice or injustice for women and this includes women in different cultures as well. The problem with the feminist movement is the lack of solidarity between the women. Class, race, cultural background, and the marginalization of women in general are all barriers to the effectiveness of solidarity.

All the Standards in the World for Women

Meek, Submissive, Beautiful, Humble, Exude sex appeal, Pure, Smart and Personable. These are terms that describe the way a woman should be. A woman should be smart but not too intelligent, sexy but not promiscuous, ambitious but not intimidating, strong but submissive. These standards are predetermined for women from when the doctor says "It's a Girl." Standards make being a woman stressful to say the least. What if a woman does not meet these expectations, does that make her less than a woman? Women are expected to be perfect. Wear high heels when they hurt and tight bras when they leave scars. We are even pressured into taking drastic measures like plastic surgery when our nose is too big or our breast are too small. But Why? Women defensively say they don't alter their appearance for the likes of men but if not for them then who?
The issue at hand is that Women have a constant need to prove themselves. Commencing from the beginning of time we have been viewed as the "Weak" gender. Not as strong as our male counterparts or even as intelligent. We are supposed to be the one that nurture and care for the house and for our family. With this type of predisposed position women constantly feel the need to dispel the predetermined myths of inadequacy that was set out for them. Now we see women winning gold medal's in the Olympics or climbing up the corporate to become the CEOs of companies. However will these standards ever go away? Will women one day be able to live in the world without the world having to be on their shoulders?

Foxy Brown

Pam Grier most famously known as the sexy Foxy Brown is another Black actress during the 70s that is often overlooked by her Eurocentric counterparts. I remember watching Foxy Brown movies and being fascinated. Foxy Brown represented the quintessential African American fierce women, who exemplified strength, sex appeal and pride. Black Pride that is, with her high natural Afro and Caramel skin.
"When Blacks began to toss away their chemical relaxers and hot combs in the 1960s and wear their hair naturally, it was a signal that they had discovered their ow beauty and were rejecting the indoctrination that said anything uniquely Black was bad..." (Shifting 188)
Pam Grier with her huge Afro symbolized that black could be very beautiful and sexy. Afro's represented Black Power and a growing appreciation among African Americans for their skin color despite what society told them.

The Best Man=The Best Cast

Seeing these pictures have me borderline orgasmic. If you know me, you know how much I love and appreciate amazing black films such as "Waiting to Exhale" "Love Jones" "The Wood" and "The Best Man." The 90s was the decade when these films were very prevalent but its been almost 20 years later and I haven't seen an all black cast outside of a Tyler Perry film in years. Nia Long, Sanaa Lathan and Morris Chestnut just to name a few,  have done black hollywood it's justice. "Love and Basketball" is literally every black male or female's favorite movie yet why isn't there a surge of black movies on the big screen currently. It's really disheartening to know that these talented actresses and actors are not making quality films because hollywood's lack of roles for brown faces. No one is investing the time or money it would take to make these quality films and its so unfortunate. A whole generation, including myself have been forced to recycle these old films because new movies, similar to The Best Man is not being made. On a positive note, it makes me smile to see this group reunited because they all look so good. They actually look better now than when they shot the movie "The Best Man." Time is on their side and even if there won't be a sequel in the making anytime soon, I would love to see a movie with some of these familiar faces because they are so talented. Sanaa and Nia are still my girls. Morris Chestnut is still my husband in my head and I can't wait to see future career endeavors from all of them. ::Patiently Waiting::

Alexis Phifer

I love Alexis Phifer. I was a little taken aback by Amber Rose's comment towards Alexis when she refered to her as "What's her name again". Not that Amber Rose is not fly but Alexis Phifer is the antithesis of Amber. I always imagined Alexis as the stereotypical college girl/girl next door that every man would love to take home to their mom, similar to myself (JK) but what I love about Miss Phifer is her funky style and keen fashion sense. She is a famous fashion designer and a graduate of the Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising (FIDM) in California. Her line of “Ghita” fashion launched in 2005 and has been a hit on the runway shows and fashion week. She’s in her early thirties but she’s extremely successful. What inspires me about Alexis is that she’s young, she still believes in love and she’s a fashionista. Following her on twitter gives me a sense that she’s one of the coolest girls Everrr….Her website is www.ghitafashion.com

The "Oreo" Complex

Most people know an Oreo as being one of America's favorite snacks. An Oreo which can be described as black on the outside and white on the inside, happens to be the coined term or nickname for many black women who can vocalize themselves in a eloquent way. I believe the first time I was told I "acted white" was in the 7th grade and the first time I was called an "Oreo" was in the 9th grade. My means of defending myself against these insulting terms meant using what I like to call the "Proper Defense." The proper defense goes along the lines of exclaiming "You say I act white because I speak proper...theres nothing wrong with being proper." This usually ended that conversation, but a black girl being accused of acting white because of her broad vocabulary or proper speech is a very deep rooted issue in the African American community. For one, there is a sense of disassociation occurring because black people are automatically putting myself and other people accused of being an "Oreo" in a box. They are essentially saying we are not black enough because of the way we speak. Furthermore these same blacks are perpetuating a inferiority complex by saying being educated and speaking proper is associated with being white and not black. Thus anything refined and educated is synonymous with whiteness. Even though i've spent most of my life being accused of being an Oreo it never bothered me until I was ridiculed for my voice a couple times. Otherwise I really don't take much offense to these titles because I am proud of the fact that my education and advance vocabulary skills can be vocalized through my speech. Contrarily, some people take extreme offense to being called Oreo and that they should. When people accuse a person of "talking white" or "acting white" they often mean it in a ostracizing way. An Oreo to some is viewed as a "Sell Out" or someone who thinks they are better than the rest. Personally, term Oreo is another form of intra-racism that many blacks have yet to overcome. Instead of unity within the race, blacks often find irrelevant things that make us unique to divide us. Although I've been ridiculed for my voice in the past its always been something I was proud of because when I speak I demand attention and it is with this voice that will take me far.

Bridging the Gap

The model world has been accused of a lot of things including but not limited to making females feel insecure about their weight or height, and how they look. The general public have to compete with the beauty standards dictated by this industry which is ultimately unattainable. Nevertheless one thing I have noticed with the model industry lately is that things that were once upon a time NOT considered beautiful...ARE. Scrolling through the fashion magazines of Vogue and looking at runway pictures models are not necessarily representative of the ideal beauty standard. Now I see models that are pale, awkward and very eccentric looking. Nonetheless the new craze of the fashion industry is Gap Teeth, and as a fellow "Gappy" this makes me proud. I've never been insecure about my slight gap but some people view Gap Teeth as a deformity,(which is so not true). I love that even though people attack the model world, they constantly counter attack by recognizing something so odd, as something so original and unique. Gap teeth models such as  Lara Stone, Lindsey Wixson, and Georgia Jagger are gracing the fashion spreads of top couture designer Chanel and funky modern designer Marc Jacobs. Gap Teeth are the latest beauty world obsession. Even though women all over won't be rushing to the dentist to knock out their teeth to form a gap, those with gaps should not feel ridiculed or ashamed because of their self-proclaimed flaw. They should smile with the confidence of knowing they are beautiful. That's the positive aspect of the model world. They turn flaw& all into a form of beauty we should appreciate. I guess perfection is getting old and the road to perfection is tiring and never-ending. 

Joan Clayton: Is it Me or Is she Me in 10 years?

Miss Joan Clayton...sad to say I've always connected to her the most out of all the characters on Girlfriends ever since I was younger. She was goofy, intelligent, a designated fashionista and a hopeless romantic. Friendship to her meant the world and she just made me laugh when other people would cringe at her sense of humor. Joan was the "Oreo" the token black girl who spoke proper and was a little eccentric so she was associated with "acting white". She was so concerned with finding her soul mate, essentially the one person she could happily spend the rest of her life with and it's unfortunate that the show got cancelled before we could see Joan walk down the aisle. Joan was a successful lawyer, she made junior partner by age 29 and was working her way to partner when she quit to pursue her dreams in opening a restaurant. I also admired this about Joan, sometimes our lives take different career paths than what we initially planned and instead of being complacent with her status at the law firm she went on to pursue her own happiness. I watch Joan and see myself gradually morphing into her. I know she's a fictional character, and it's not like I want this to happen but it is. At the point in my life right now, I see myself becoming a lawyer in a few years but If law isn't for me, I won't hesitate to pursue whatever career goals I may have. I am also a hopeless romantic, in my head I dream about the wedding, the soul mate, the boyfriend, love, I'm a pisces what do you expect? We imagine a bunch of things all the time...I watched an episode today where Joan sinked to an all time low, when she went on a date with a man who lived with his mother. She tried to build a relationship with him based on both of them loving to shop at Cosco's and it went down hill from there. I thought this was hilarious because I've sunk to some all time lows in choosing some of the guys that I've dated; But recently I've made a vow to myself never to do it again...As a result of this epic fail attempt at dating Joan exerted her energy into running a marathon, and I'm exerting my energy into my future. I always knew I would turn out to be one of these Joan type women. I remember the first time I saw "Brown Sugar" I told myself "Your going to be Sydney" I believed this because she was a career oriented women who had everything in her life except "HipHop", the love of her life. She was one of those self-motivated women who preferred a massager over a man. Although this sounds very similar to the way I live my life now I hope with all my heart that I don't get too caught up in career goals because I also want the family, similar to Joan's goals.
Joan met Brock her "soul mate "and later decided he wasn't the one because he didn't want children. Personally I loved Brock for Joan, he was masculine, sexy, confident and he knew exactly what he wanted. One of my biggest fears in life is making that same mistake Joan did. One of the best advice I tell my friends and myself is "Don't let real love pass you by." For some people Love is feeling that they never felt or will never feel. I fortunately know what real love feels like and I also know what it is to see real love pass you by. I don't ever want this to happen to me again. Although Girlfriends ended without a season finale, Joan eventually does find love and I want to assume she lives happily ever after.

Tamara's account of Heaven&Hell...Enlightened!

Tamara Laroux: Surviving a Suicide Attempt (click the link)
You ever think...When people die where do we go? Some people believe in heaven only...they don't believe theres a hell but in my opinion, I believe if there is Good and Evil then there is Heaven and Hell.  After watching a series of these videos that were premiered on the 700 club I am determined to go to heaven and to start living my life step by step accordingly because life is too short. The creepy part about all of these videos is they describe heaven as a joyous place where people who has past on before you is reunited and everyone is happy. Hell is described as the polar opposite, people separately enduring eternal pain, suffering and sorrow. They become depression, they become hate and they are tormented for the foolish sins they made on earth. I don't know how true these accounts are but I do know that I want to start building my faith in God.

Jaheim-Anything

Today myself and a few friends had a conversation about life, love and finding true love. I mean most little girls dream of their weddings but a common consensus between us was that we dream more about our career than our future husbands. Are we doomed? Once again I  must ask this question because its sad when our generation mention marriage we mention divorce in the same breath. Why is it that no one can envision a marriage that might last for over 50 years anymore? Why is that a mere fantasy? One thing we all dreamed of was that when we do find love we find someone who loves us just as much as we love them or even more. We want our future mate to look at us with high regards,we want  to be the answer to all of his prayers when he asked for his perfection woman. We want a guy to treat us like a goddess and Jaheim's "Anything" reminds me of what we are looking for. "Anything" shows a man working hard to give the girl that he loves the things she desires and deserves. It shows a strong black man with ambition, willing to make sacrifices for love. I love this video because it gives me hope that one day I will meet a guy who will appreciate me for everything I am and give me everything that I deserve

Anything Jaheim
Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
You can have anything I got
All of me right on the spot
Na, na, na
You can have anything I own
Work my fingers all the way to the bone

Now baby I don't wanna be fictitious
Saying that I can get you anything is ridiculous
But anything you ask if its anywhere near
My grasp it's yours, oh yeah

Now I don't got fancy cars or diamond rings
Lord knows I will if I make it with this singing thing
Hold on, have faith in me
'Cause anything I have is yours, baby

You can have anything I got
All of me right on the spot
Na, na, na
You can have anything I own
Work my fingers all the way to the bone
Na, na, na

Girl I know you wanna roll a Lexus
A Lexus with a mansion down in Texas
It's more like apartment 8, cellular is prepaid
But baby it's all okay

I can't do all the things I wanna do
But I can love you and I can stay true
I'll give you my last dime, spend all my time
It's yours whatever is mine, anything you want

You can have anything I got
All of me right on the spot
Na, na, na
You can have anything I own
Work my fingers all the way to the bone
Na, na, na

Now I don't have no LS to drive
But I'm a man with a whole lot of plans
And a lot of love inside
Just believe and pray, hold on to me and say stay
I can't handle you leaving me

Just dream, dream with Jaheim
I'll work overtime anytime just to give you peace of mind
Please just believe, everything and anything
All of me baby, baby, baby, baby

You can have anything I got
All of me right on the spot
Na, na, na
You can have anything I own
Work my fingers all the way to the bone
Na, na, na


You can have anything you want
Anything you want, anything you need
Anything I have baby girl just ask
Anything you want, anything you need

Elizabeth Taylor

The first thing I was ever told about Elizabeth Taylor was back in her day she was the most beautiful woman in Hollywood and possibly the most beautiful woman in the world. I remember my mom describing how uniquely beautiful her eye color was which happened to be reminiscent of a kind of a kind of lavender. I later watched Elizabeth Taylor play "Cleopatra" and was fascinated by her beauty and acting abilities. Elizabeth Taylor is infamous for her multiple husbands, 8 marriages to be exact. She also has a passion for jewelry, launched three perfumes including the very successful "White Diamonds" and was a major supporter of Aids research. Elizabeth Taylor was a notable human being who died today due to congestive heart failure at age 79. She will be missed. Her contributions to society and essentially to the world will always be remembered.

Megan Good-Naturally Beautiful

Megan Good is one of those Naturally Beautiful people that does not have to constantly remind the world that she's beautiful. The thing that makes Megan Good noteworthy is her humility and her carefree attitude. She seems so down to earth and she often gets a lot of flack for that especially on the gossip sites for her simplistic fashion choices. I remember Megan Good from her days on "Cousin Skeeter" as well as the movie "Eve Bayou." I've followed her career ever since. Now she plays psycho stalker Parker on "The Game." She's also pursuing music endeavors with the girl group she is apart of. I look forward to see what else she has in store for the near future, I will definitely be watching.
However Megan Good is the kind of female that should be envied. Not only is she beautiful but she is a non-conformist. She doesn't feel the need to wear heels and an uncomfortable dress to events. Her typical outfit consist of a printed tee, jeans and high waisted boots. She's the type of girl thats smokes cigarettes and rocks a funky hair cut. Most girls can only wish to have her carefree confidence. She lives life for herself  and not for what other people think of her (even though she's in the limelight). She doesn't seem like the type to loose herself in relationships. She's not going to dumb herself down or disguise her accomplishment to feed a male's ego. Megan Good reeks confidence which is why I love her...

Angela Inspires me to be Fabulous

I was in the middle of reading "Don't give it Away" by Iyanla Vanzant when I came across a beautiful poem that reminded me of Angela Simmons. Once upon a time when I had a twitter I followed her and was able to grasp the type of person she was. She's amazing. Not only is she "Gorge" but she intelligent, spiritual, a hopeless romantic and has an extremely funky fashion sense. The thing I loved most about Angela was her words of wisdom and self-acceptance. The following poem reminds me of  her INSPIRATIONAL tweets...
"Dear Self,
I love you today!
I honor you today!
I respect you today!
Today I intend to take good care of you.
Today I intend to do everything in my power to make sure that you have the best day you ever had
Today I will so everything I can to make sure that you grow
And shine
And have a good time
Today I realize that I am it
For this I am so grateful!"    
 -Iyanla Vanzant

These words of wisdom is extremely encouraging and we should aspire to have just the right amount of self-confidence to shine.

Amerie - Talkin' To Me (Edit)

Talking To Me by Amerie is one of my favorite videos. This was when Amerie was this new fresh-faced exotic singer. The video is so representative of New York, from the beautiful loft she wakes up in to the constant battle to catch a taxi cab. I love the scene with her and her girls getting dressed up to go to the club where they finally see Amerie's eye candy. The chemistry is instant. This video reminds me of me and my girls. Living life in your twenties is so amazing, the pressure is barely there and its just a constant battle of finding yourself and discovering what you want to do with the rest of your life, Luckily clubbing and partying is a sweet distraction.

Accessory of the Week

My love for Gold, leads me to love this
Must Have: Kate Spade foiled again large flat pouch

$75, available at katespade.com

Lifeless-Elle Vampire Photoshoot

He came He Saw He Conquered!
Like a thief in the night in a sea of darkness
Lifeless, without a soul he walked towards me illuminating through the night's sky
His strides were slow, his stare was deep
Intense
His eyes dark, his face pale, he had a motive, a motive so insidiously unbeknownst to me
His lips rouge, dripping with someone's blood, but I was blinded
Blinded by the dark cloud called love
This love capable of making you loose many things among them yourself
Ignoring the signs of his other lover
Love at first bite, he was hungry for more and me I was innocent
I was life, the essence of life
A Virgin
He couldn't control his instincts which justified his cruel actions
And because of this I lied in bed crying every night
Pillows Stained
He lacked a soul
Tonight seemed different,
I yearned for his touch
The sky obscure, the room dim
He sucked on my neck so passionately, sensuality was his speciality
His teeth cut deep
I watched the rouge rose shrivel, black
The blood dripped
Death became me, I was consumed
He sucked the life out of me...
I was no longer mortal
The uncontrollable drive for blood consumed me
I searched for MY prey
-Kydee K.

Vampires has been the obsession of American Pop Culture since Twighlight first hit the scene. I was inspired to write this poem after a broken heart. I related it back to the idea that when vampires prey on innocent victims they suck the life out of them. Most females get so caught up in the idea of love they don't picture the day when I guy could eventually hurt them. When vampires suck the blood out of their victims, the victims turn into vampires. Similarly after a female experiences countless broken heart's she becomes heartless...she essentially turns into "the dude" emotionless, with no feelings and she takes on the carefree characteristics that most men do when it comes to love and relationships. March 2011 Elle magazine depiction of vampires in this photoshoot is so intriguing. The pictures are dark and melancholy. This idea of the virgin and the vampire is also displayed. I love it.

Alice Walker-Women's History Month

•Renowned Feminist, Activist

•After a childhood accident blinded her in one eye, she went on to become valedictorian of her local school, and attend Spelman College and Sarah Lawrence College on scholarships, graduating in 1965.

•Alice Walker's early poems, novels and short stories dealt with themes familiar to readers of her later works: rape, violence, isolation, troubled relationships, multi-generational perspectives, sexism and racism.

• Author of The Color Purple (1982)

•She's credited with introducing the word "womanist" for African American feminism

Women like Alice Walker are inspirational. The work they do so that women of all colors can be free in a society that oppresses them is amazing.