Desensitized to Hollering

Walking along the streets of New York can make the most unattractive girl feel beautiful. There’s always that construction worker, that dope boy on the corner or that high school junior who thinks he has a chance. Men are socialized to “holler” at a woman when they like what they see. Women are socialized to play hard to get, try to ignore the comments and continue with their day. The new way women cope with the sometime unwarranted attention is by plugging in their head phones and turning the volume up high.

I want to believe the first time I got hollered at on the street was at age 11. Coming home from junior high school, I never looked older than my age but the boys on the corner talked and I ignored them in fear of this new unnecessary attention I was receiving. After a while as a Brooklyn girl, hollering becomes a part of the norm once you step outside. Around age 13, was the first time I was cursed out because I refused to respond. By age 14 Franklin avenue boys decided to throw water on the girls that walked by. Of course innocent ol’ me was hit in the cross fire on my way to picking up my 8^th grade yearbook; as a result I went to school drenched. By age 15, around the same time of year (June), En route to my house the same Franklin avenue boys decided they wanted to throw water on me and my friends because we refused to speak to them. Lets just say that did not end up pretty. All in all getting hollered at is one of those things that come with the territory of being a New York woman, no matter what color, age, or race you are. Some women grow so accustomed to it that when a guy doesn’t give them the attention they are used to on a particular day they start to question if they look good or not. While other girls get jealous if their friends command more attention from a guy while walking down the street. I want to believe that this is normal for most. Right?

On the other hand, getting hollered at can be a form of objectification and in terms of the extreme cases, sexual harassment. When a woman chooses to wear something sexy she should be able to without being looked upon like a piece of meat with the cat calls ranging from “YO BABY” to “Your butt looking right in those jeans.” Whatever happened to the times when men addressed women with respect, not calling her out of her name or calling her to his car? If a guy wants to give me a compliment I can admit it does brighten my day, but the line is crossed when they grab my hand, follow me to my apartment building or make a huge disrespectful scene if I choose to ignore them. Even worst than the whistles, sly comments or dog attacks is the silence you encounter when you walk past a group of men. Just silence and stares; Ahhh! Pulling my hair as we speak. I never knew getting hollered at was a form of harassment until a couple of months ago. I was sitting in one of my last women studies classes that I would ever take as an undergrad, when my classmates were presenting a project on the horrors of sexual harassment. In typical fashion they addressed harassment in the workplace, Clarence Thomas and Anita Hill etc., but they went on to address hollering on the street. At this point in the presentation I was intrigued. I always knew that the hissing, whistles and comments about my derriere were distasteful but I had become so desensitized to hollering as a normal part of life that I never questioned if this was an actual problem, until now. When a line is crossed, you will know it. When someone touches you or follows you home that’s a problem. Even worst if we continue to allow men objectify us on the street in an unpleasant way we are ultimately making the situation worst for our daughters. I love the compliments, but I will be a fool to disregard that sometimes these guys go way too far with their hollering schemes.